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Episode 11: Cool Hand Lou

 Every one of these posts kills me, I can't get enough. 
 ________________________________________________________
--------: 10:04 AM
RickDickens77: Lou?
--------: 11:13 AM
RickDickens77: Louis
--------: 12:02 PM
LouisTheCat: oh hey
RickDickens77: What's up?
LouisTheCat: just got up
RickDickens77: Wow. Guess the extra exercise is wearing you out!
LouisTheCat: yeah look man i think we need to talk about that
LouisTheCat: the whole exercise thing is fine
LouisTheCat: we both know i could use it
LouisTheCat: but uh
RickDickens77: What's the problem, I thought you liked your gift
LouisTheCat: no no i do
LouisTheCat: i mean i appreciate it
LouisTheCat: its just
LouisTheCat: you know
LouisTheCat: i dont know if i even want to talk about it
RickDickens77: I think you might have to, I'm not following.
LouisTheCat: the thing is
LouisTheCat: im not proud of the way i act when you bring that thing out
RickDickens77: Are we even talking about the same thing?
LouisTheCat: i dont feel in control
LouisTheCat: thats not me
RickDickens77: I feel like maybe you're blowing it out of proportion a little
LouisTheCat: thats a side of me i never wanted you to see
RickDickens77: It's a laser pointer, Lou.
LouisTheCat: see now i feel like im gonna be sick
LouisTheCat: theres a darkness inside of me
RickDickens77: Ok, Batman.
LouisTheCat: im a monster rick
--------: 1:14 PM
RickDickens77: Oh hey Lou, speaking of gifts-
RickDickens77: I was thanking Mom for Christmas stuff and I mentioned the Slim Jims
RickDickens77: She didn't know what I was talking about.
LouisTheCat: yeah no
LouisTheCat: i got those
RickDickens77: Ok, wow
RickDickens77: Thanks! But, uh
LouisTheCat: dont mention it
RickDickens77: Well how did you get them?
LouisTheCat: same way you get them dummy
RickDickens77: But I get them at the convenience store.
LouisTheCat: right thats what bodega ray said
LouisTheCat: he said theyre your favorite
RickDickens77: Hold up.
RickDickens77: Bodega Ray brought them to our house?
RickDickens77: How did he know where we live?
LouisTheCat: no no he sent them home with me
RickDickens77: Wait how do you even know who Bodega Ray is?
RickDickens77: I'm lost.
LouisTheCat: ok see if you can keep up
LouisTheCat: he said take these to rick
LouisTheCat: and he put them in a bag
LouisTheCat: and i brought them home
RickDickens77: You brought them home. From the store.
LouisTheCat: hey look that college degree was worth something after all
RickDickens77: What in the hell were you doing at the store
RickDickens77: What were you doing OUT?
LouisTheCat: i go out all the time
RickDickens77: What?! You're an indoor cat!
LouisTheCat: man have we met
RickDickens77: How do you get out?
LouisTheCat: im getting the feeling i shouldnt tell you that
RickDickens77: How long have you been getting out?
LouisTheCat: whats today
RickDickens77: Tuesday.
LouisTheCat: lets see then
LouisTheCat: carry the one
LouisTheCat: four years maybe
RickDickens77: Ok back up, I don't trust your sense of time.
RickDickens77: When's the first time you got out?
LouisTheCat: remember that time when the cleaning lady freaked out and quit
RickDickens77: Do I remember ending up in court?
RickDickens77: Do I remember paying a settlement?
RickDickens77: Do I remember being blacklisted by the housekeeping community?
RickDickens77: Yes, Lou. I remember.
LouisTheCat: ok it was like the day after that
RickDickens77: That was the first week I had you.
LouisTheCat: sounds right
RickDickens77: I don't even know what to say
LouisTheCat: id say like ok or cool or way to go or something
RickDickens77: But it's not ok or cool, Lou
RickDickens77: You're supposed to be an indoor cat
RickDickens77: I need you to tell me how you've been getting out.
LouisTheCat: you keep saying im an indoor cat
LouisTheCat: maybe youre just wrong
RickDickens77: How are you getting out Lou
LouisTheCat: why would i tell you that now
RickDickens77: Because I'm trying to keep you safe.
LouisTheCat: from what
RickDickens77: From disease, from raccoons, from cars...
LouisTheCat: disease huh
LouisTheCat: so you made me get shots just so i could stay inside
LouisTheCat: nice rick
RickDickens77: That's not the point.
LouisTheCat: raccoons are stupid and slow dont worry about them
LouisTheCat: and i look both ways
LouisTheCat: be alert accidents hurt
LouisTheCat: chance takers are accident makers
LouisTheCat: give a hoot dont pollute
LouisTheCat: all that stuff
RickDickens77: I don't like it.
RickDickens77: I'm going to have to find where you're getting out and fix it.
LouisTheCat: rick
LouisTheCat: dont be like this
LouisTheCat: youre wasting your time rick
RickDickens77: We'll see.
LouisTheCat: i gotta jet
LouisTheCat: twister party at pumpkins house
RickDickens77: You better hope you're inside when I figure it out
LouisTheCat: shaking in my boots rick
LouisTheCat: enjoy your slim jims
--------: LouisTheCat has gone offline